Ali Baba Armadillo
by tiedwithribbons
Summary: A Sonic the Hedgehog version of Ali Baba Bunny. While trying to find their way to Emerald Beach, Mighty and Nack run into trouble with Bark when they find a cave full of treasure.


**Hey there, it's me. Yeah, I know, you probably weren't expecting to see me again. Well, I'm not dead - I just haven't published anything new for about 3 years, so I figured it's time to rectify that. As to that other fic I'm supposed to be writing...I dunno, I just can't think of anything. Well, maybe this'll bring my mojo back, y'never know.**

**Anyway, onto the story!**

Outside a cave entrance, 2 figures were standing. One of them, a small man atop a camel, raised his hand. "Close Sesame."

As a large rock descended and closed off the cave entrance, he turned his camel to face the other figure, a yellow polar bear with a red torque hat, brown and orange shoes, brown and yellow gloves and a green scarf. "Guard well this treasure, oh Bark, or the jackals shall grow fat on thy carcass."

Bark saluted. "No one shall pass me."

The man on the camel rode off into the distance. As he rode away over the hills, evidence of a tunnel being dug appeared, headed towards the cave. There was a small yelp of pain as the tunnel ran into Bark's foot, then it went around the polar bear and into the cave.

Annoyed, Bark spun around to face the cave, his hat spinning on his head. "Open..." Then he paused, realising he'd forgotten the words to open the cave. "Um...Open, uh, Sarsaparilla? Uhh, Open Salamander?"

Inside the cave, the tunnel finally stopped, and Mighty the Armadillo poked his head out, removing the large hooked gloves from his hands. "Hey, guys, we're here at Emerald Beach! And Knux, thanks for letting me borrow..." he petered out as he noticed his surroundings. "The...Shovel...Claws?"

Nack the Weasel emerged from behind him, smacking dirt out of his ear. "See, this is why I make it a personal rule to never travel underground." he grumbled, looking around. "Oh, nice going, ya dimwit! Since when did they start putting beaches in caves?" Then he spotted something, and his eyes widened.

Mighty didn't noticed, as he had pulled a map out of hammerspace and was staring at it. "I don't know, maybe we should've turned left at the Chao Ruins, then taken a right turn at Club Rouge..."

Nackwasn't listening, too busy staring at the chests filled to bursting with gold and jewels he had spotted across the hole. He licked his lips, then looked at Mighty with an evil grin on his face.

"Well, we can't be too far off." concluded Mighty. "So maybe if we double back..."

He got no further than that, as Nack grabbed him and started shoving him back into the hole. "It's mine, ya understand?! Mine! All mine! Get back in there! Down! Down! Down! Go! GO! Go! Mine! Mine!." He laughed evilly as he covered the hole with dirt and stomped it down, then ran towards the treasure.

Mighty lifted his head, peeking out from the dirt. "Um, Nack, are you ok?"

Nack rubbed his hands, practically drooling as he stared at the treasure, then dived into one of the chests. "I'm rich! I'm wealthy! Yahoo!" he cheered as he emerged from another chest into a pile of treasure. He popped back out, wearing a crown on his head and several rings on his fingers, holding precious gems in each hand. "I'm comfortably well off, ha ha!"

Outside the cave, Bark was still trying to get the magic door to open. "Uh, Open Septuagenerian? Err, Open Squirrelgirl? Open Sesame?"

He jumped back in surprise as the cave opened. Then, placing a furious glare on his face, he stomped inside.

Nack, now wearing a miner's cap with a diamond atop it, was wheeling a minecart full of treasure towards the entrance, singing "I'm in the Money" to himself. He then looked up to see Bark blocking his way, arms folded across his chest. "Ah, redcap. Do me a favour and call me a cab, will ya, boy? And if you're quick about it, you just might find I'm a heavy tipper."

Bark made no move, just standing there glaring at him.

Nack gave a short, sarcastic laugh. "Look, pal, I dunno if you're deaf, and to tell the truth I don't really care, but we can do this the easy way or the hard way, and I ain't got all day, so..." He pulled out a gun and pointed it at the polar bear.

Unimpressed, Bark picked up a sword with a jewelled hilt (which was perched atop the minecart), raised it above his head and chopped at the gun, then Nack's head. There was a second's pause, then the hat and diamond split in two, both pieces falling to the ground. This was followed shortly after by the gun barrel, which had met the same fate.

Nack laughed nervously, blinked, then ran screaming back to the treasure chamber.

Mighty, who had climbed out of the tunnel, was busy brushing himself down when Nack came running up. "Quick, quick, save me pal, and I'll give you this." He thrust a diamond into Mighty's hands. "Gorgeous isn't it? Don't be afraid, have it appraised, any place."

Mighty glanced at the diamond, then tossed it away, causing Nack to glare at him. "Proud Punk." muttered the weasel.

"Alright, where are you?!" Bark shouted, running into the cave.

Quickly, Nack scrambled up a wall and hid behind a boulder. "Yeah? Well, chop that guy! He brought me here!"

Bark looked down to see Mighty, who was now wearing white baggy trousers, a red sash, purple curly-toed shoes, a purple vest and a red turban, in an hour glass shaped bottle. "I am the genie of the bottle - the bright red shell." Mighty announced in a mystical voice.

Bark dropped to his knees, bowing before the "genie". "Oh, mighty genie."

"Release me and I shall grant thee a rich reward." Mighty continued.

Nack growled. "He's lying! Chop him! Chop him!"

Ignoring the weasel, Bark picked up the bottle and started shaking it. "I, Bark, shall release you, oh master!"

With a 'pop', the cork fell out, followed by Mighty, who managed to flip himself onto his feet "Thank you, Bark," he said, bowing low. "Now, as a reward for thine kindess, wouldst thou like to have all this treasure for thy very own?"

Bark nodded excitedly. "Oh yes master, I'd like, I'd like very much!"

"Very well." Mighty conceded. He cleared his throat and raised his arms above his head. He repeated the motion, then started wiggling his hips and his head before launching into a complicated dance, chanting:

"Ikity Akity Oop, Ah Ah!

Zigaty Zagity Zoop, Ah Ah!

Doo Doo Dut!

Dat Dat Dat!

Flippity Flappity Floop!"

He stopped and pointed at the treasure. "It's yours."

Bark beamed in excitement, before happily diving into the treasure. Mighty dusted off his hands, just as Nack stomped up. "Ikaty Akity Oop." the weasel scoffed, folding his arms over his chest. He glowered at Mighty, then stomped away, mumbling "Ho ho, squeek, ha ha, snark."

"Yeah, well, you're welcome, Mr Ingratitude." Mighty muttered sarcastically.

A short while later, Mighty (now having removed everything but the turban), had found the cave exit and was looking out at the desert. "I don't know," he murmured, "either we took a wrong turn, or the whole ocean somehow disappeared from the face of the planet."

His contemplations were interrupted by a loud scream. "Help! Help! Help! Save me pal! Save me! HHHHHEELLLLLLPPPP!"

Startled, he looked around to see Nack running up, staggering slightly under the weight of a large emerald. Behind him ran Bark, the sword raised above his head. "COME BACK HERE, THIEF!" yelled the polar bear.

Sighing, Mighty motioned Nack over to a large rock. "Okay, Nack, back here." As Nack ran behind the rock, the armadillo demanded "What's with you, anyway?"

"I can't help it," protested Nack. "If it involves gold and jewels, I love it. It's what I do. SAVE ME!"

"Alright, where did you go?!" snapped Bark as he ran around the corner. Panting, he spotted Mighty sitting on a mat with a rope pointing straight up in front of him and a basket by his side.

"He go that a-way." said Mighty in an Indian American voice, pointing up the rope

Grabbing the rope, Bark started climbing up, until he reached the clouds and disappeared. As Mighty pulled the rope down, Nack peered out of the basket. "Is he gone?"

Mighty nodded. "Yep, I got rid of him."

"Oh boy!" cried Nack, poking his feet through the bottom of the basket and running back to the cave. "I'm rich! I'm wealthy! I'm independent! I'm socially secure! I'm rich! I'm rich!"

Mighty just tutted and rolled his eyes.

A few hours later, Mighty was standing next to a huge minecart full to the brim with treasure, while Nack was perched on top of a ladder emptying a sack into it.

"There, I think that's the last of it." said the weasel as he slid down the ladder. "But just to be on the safe side, I'll take a quick check to see if I missed anything."

As he looked around, he spotted a small blue gem in a corner. "Hello, what's this?"

Scrutinising it, he started to rub dust off it. "Well, with a bit of a cut and polish, I might be able ta make 50 bucks out of it."

The gem suddenly glowed, and a small orb of light floated out of it. As it landed on the ground, it grew larger and formed the shape of a figure. The light faded to reveal an echindna who looked like Knuckles, wearing an outfit similar to Mighty's, but orange instead of purple.

"Greetings, oh master." said the echidna, bowing. "I am the genie of the emerald."

"OH NO YA DON'T!" yelled Nack, causing the genie to blink in surprise. "YOU WANT MY TREASURE! WELL, IT'S MINE, UNDERSTAND? ALL MINE!"

He grabbed the genie and slammed the gem into his face, trying to force him back inside. "IN! IN! GO! GO! MMMIIIINNNEEEEEE!"

Suddenly, there was a bright burst of light and a loud shockwave which knocked Nack off his feet. "FOOL!" thundered the genie, who was now towering above the weasel and glowing bright pink. "YOU HAVE DESECRATED THE SPIRIT OF THE EMERALD! PREPARE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!"

Peering around the corner, Mighty yelped in fear, then snuck back to the tunnel and jumped in - he was no coward, but he wasn't stupid enough to think he could face a genie and live, either.

Nack was either extremely brave or extremely stupid. "Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich." he scoffed, walking away from the genie.

The genie raised his hands, then pointed them at Nack, zapping the weasel with lightening from his fingertips.

Much later, Mighty had finally found his way to Emerald Beach, and was sitting under an umbrella with the rest of the Chaotix, eating clams and explaining what had taken him so long.

"So, how do you think Nack made out with that genie?" asked Knuckles, throwing a clam shell over his shoulder.

Mighty shrugged. "Who knows? I hope he's not TOO hurt, though. I mean, sure he's a jerk, but I'd feel real bad if he was paralysed for life."

"Eh, knowing that guy, he survived somehow." said Vector as he opened a clam. Then he gasped in surprise. "Hey, looky here, guys, a pearl!"

The others crowded round to look at his find. "Careful, Vector, Nack'll probably try to steal it." warned Charmy.

Espio scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. He wouldn't be interested in something so small unless he was the same size."

All of a sudden, Nack (who was now the size of a fly) ran out of the tunnel. "It's mine, all mine! You understand?" he shouted in a high-pitched voice, scrambling up Vector's arm and clinging to the pearl. "Mine, mine! Go, go, go! Out! Out! Out! Mine! Mine! Mine!"

"Wha-?!" spluttered Vector.

"How-?" began Espio. Charmy and Knuckles just stared open-mouthed.

"Oh, brother!" groaned Mighty. "Close, Sesame."

"I'm rich! I'm a happy miser!" said Nack as the clam closed over him.

**Well, was it any good? I sure hope so!**


End file.
